Event For The Day

Today was the first day of events, at the Valor Games Southwest in San Antonio, TX.  I always play by the seat of my pants – no preparation in advance.  The game today was the best 3 out of 5 games.  I had to score 11 points and try to keep my opponents points to a minimum.

So I warmed up with a standing guy, who was a better player than I am.  I figured out where his weak spot was, and shot the ball in that direction as much as I could, then I would hit a soft little lob that just made it over the net, hitting the table on his side, but out of his reach.  You would have to have gargantuan arms to reach a ball that close to the net.

wp_20160927_030When I finally was up to compete (the official murdered my last name), and I played against one of the women I played 9-ball with in June/July.  She remembered me to.  We played.  I won, she won, I won, she won.  We were each 2 out of 4 at this point.  I took the fifth game.

We were a good match, about the same levels of play between us.  I had a good time.  I didn’t expect what was coming next.  They paired me up with a guy I didn’t know – and he just stomped me into the ground, taking the first three games.  I was out.

I later learned he was one of three professional players there.  They played on a team together.  No wonder he beat me so hard! 

This post was written without using the taboo word for 9/27/26.  Tomorrow, the last day of the challenge, is nearly impossible.

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

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Worse Service Ever

I got up this morning a lot earlier than normal.  I had meds, feed the cat, and packed up the CPAP and laptop.  I then had my usual breakfast, minus the coffee.  I spied the clock and I had 15 minutes left until the van arrived.  I was out in the kitchen, shot and the rest of my meds, were still there, waiting for me.  I was already behind, before I even got started.

The van was waiting for me, and we arrived at the Petro Mart a half-hour early.  I then thought of my 32 oz water bottle, still sitting on the counter, filled and ready.  I bought a cup and two bottles of water.  I didn’t realize they were 20 oz bottles. 

At the airport, I realized I was carrying a full bottle of water while in line for security.  I couldn’t take it.  I had a fellow passenger toss it for me.  While waiting for our flight, a man, very generously, offered me his First Class seat.  It was seat 1A.  They plied me with drinks (no alcohol) and I got a meal as well.  I chose the Asian Salad.  It was very good.

At San Antonio, the plane seemed like it was descend super fast, and bang, we landed.  I was the last person off the plane, as usual.  They had me sit on that tiny, metal, aisle chair until my chair finally showed up, minus part of the cup holder.  I knew I should have taken that off.

After reporting the breakage, I was sent outside and waited for the shuttle.  Super Shuttle.  I saw three without wheelchair lifts.  When I finally spotted one, it went right by me.  It was after 5:00 when one arrived.  They lowered the lift, I got on, and then the lift wouldn’t lift!  It wasn’t me either.

The boss arrived, and with his help, they man-handled me and the lift up and I rolled in.  I checked in for the Valor Games, and then the hotel.  Room 108.  No waiting for the one and only elevator for this wing.  I will be hitting the pool tomorrow evening, if it’s still warm enough outside.  It wasn’t barely 80 degrees when I landed.

Let the Games begin!  I am playing Table Tennis tomorrow, Boccia Ball Wednesday, and shooting an Air Rifle Thursday.  Friday, I head back for the airport.  It will be over and done with before I even know it.

This post was written without today’s taboo word.

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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Across The Border

This is the first day, the first for many more lifetimes.  Today you will learn firsthand how human traffickers smuggler human beings across our borders, to be sold as slaves to the underworld.  We are going to take a little field trip, so pack your bags and we’ll be off.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed in Quebec, Canada.  I want everyone to hand over their passports.  You are going to learn not as an FBI Agent, but as a smuggler.  You are being paired with another classmate, and you are going to get yourselves safely over the border.  The first team that wins, gets first choice, for the field offices that you all are now coveting.

Wonderful!  Now here we are, stranded in Canada.  How are we going to sneak back across the border, when a passport is required to cross the border from Canada to the US?  

After giving this much thought, I will be an agent and you will be my prisoner.  We get to Customs, and I tell them I am an FBI Officer and you are under my custody.  I lost my ID when you struggled to break away from me and tried to get away.

Now I am nervous.  We are going to become criminals and be stuck in this country forever.  So the Customs officer just blew us off, told us to get out of his airport.  Plan failed.  Now it is time for a new plan, a better plan.  We have to get across the border!  I don’t want to have spent all these months in training, only to lose it like a common criminal. 

We are going to try to sneak over the border, in a less patrolled area, into Vermont, steal a car and drive back to New York.  So a friend of mine drives us up to an abandoned campground which run along the border.  We will simply cross during the night, through those woods, in a foot of snow, but we are going to get across.

Now it is dark, and safer to attempt to get across.  But slogging through all that snow, slows us down and we are freezing to death in this weather.  There is an empty cabin up apiece, and we can stay there, get warm and head home in the morning.

The plan has worked!  We actually got across the border from Canada to the US, illegally and without our passports.  But look!  There are many fellow classmates who have already gotten themselves across, without getting caught and ending up in jail until they could call and get someone from the FBI to come and get us.

This is still a success story.  We all graduate, on time, as a group, having been trained by many FBI Special Agents that are the best that the US has ever had.

This post was a story, written for the Taboo Word Challenge – 9/23/16

 

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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Did It Really . . . ?

So many years have passed since I left home.  I moved out at 17, when I went away to college.  Even the memories from that time are vague.  I soon learned I could drown it all out with a bottle of vodka, missing classes due first to hangovers, then the fact that I was too drunk to go to class.  My fourth semester, I totally bombed out at school, which resulted in the loss of two scholarships.

It only took me about a month to decide I had to move away again.  I joined the Navy.  Boot Camp was difficult for me.  I was going through withdrawal from the alcohol, but I didn’t want them to know that.  I wanted to get through it as quickly as possible, so I could move on to a somewhat less strict environment.  When I was diagnosed with mono, I was afraid that would hold me back in my training, that I wouldn’t graduate with the rest of my class.  But I did, though I wasn’t actually at the ceremony, due to my illness.

This proved to be my downfall however, which eventually led to discharge from the military.  Their reasoning  – “Unsuitability due to alcohol abuse.  Not recommended for reenlistment.”  That took me all of nine months to accomplish.  I was drowning in alcohol uncontrollably, with no clear way out that I could see.

Those memories though, continued to haunt me.  Some were very distinct, while others were just vague memories that I couldn’t bring to the forefront, but still knew they were there.  I remember fear.  At night, my heart would pound from the fear,  causing me to think that I was hearing his footsteps coming down the hall to my room.  Sometimes they were, sometimes not.  But this was tearing up the insides of a young child, eventually a young adult, with no clear path that would lead me to safety.  I dreamed of running away to live in an abandoned cabin in the woods.  I had read a book when I was in Second grade, titled, “The Boxcar Children.”  It was a story about three young children, who ran away from their grandfather’s house.  They lived in an old boxcar that was still on the tracks, in the woods.

It has taken years upon years to reach the point where I am today.  I’m not sure I know exactly where that is, but I now have psychiatric diagnoses, which explain why my life is the way it is now.  It explains the odd symptoms, which in the past led me to attempted suicide, more than once.  Thankfully, i survived those attempts.  I have been in psycho-therapy for more years than I can even count.  But I have progressed greatly. 

My blog clearly describes my life with childhood sexual abuse.  When your abuser is your father, well . . .

Taboo Word Challenge for 9/22/16

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

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Space

They say there’s space between my ears
It has been there years and years
Wanted to fill it to the top
But she always made me stop

You see, she had to be the best
So much better than the rest
But if the truth were to be told
There was more space there up til she was cold

Some feel that better does so much good
But put’s you higher than it should
I tried to fill up all that space
I found it hard to keep the pace.

I fell here and I fell there
Regaining some space, but no one cared
Filled it up with a giant cloud
I could speak but not aloud

Within that cloud I had no fears
But had not much between my ears
Drift alone through all that air
There is no one to really care

The space now growing, oh quite fast
Know not how long I will last
Tried real hard to pass that test
Show I was better than the rest

 

 

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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Where Did The Sun Go?

Taboo Word  9/12/16

It seemed like only yesterday, when I commented to my roommate at he hotel in Salt Lake City, how late it was and it was still light out.  Now, it’s a little after 7pm and it is almost totally dark outside.  I can hear all the buzzing of the nighttime bugs that seem to disappear during the day.

I am unable to go outside and enjoy some company with friends, like we had been doing.  Now, I’m sitting here writing away, now that I’ve gotten through those 69 emails that I had this morning.  And that only counts the ones that were already there when I opened my email.  Others were creeping in throughout the day.  I spent at least an hour, going through all the ones like Office Depot, AARP and others, unsubscribing for all the junk email so that I can do something else during the day besides reading and deleting email.

Nerd In The Brain has started the GO PLAY event and I got busy with one of the 10 point challenges, which is to draw or color something.  I pulled up my chair, sharpened my pencils and started coloring.  This is something I had put aside, and forgotten all about.  I honestly have no clue when the last time was that I sat and colored.  They tell me that it is supposed to relax me.  Uh, right.  I think that is something that flew out the window when I was looking away and putting the coloring books and pencils aside to collect dust, and be annoying when I needed the space for some other project I was doing.

The point I am trying to make is that I’ve been a space cadet, jumping from one thing to another, and now I run out of time during the day, and I’m unable to finish anything I start.  Somewhere during the day, I thought I was at the gym . . . or was that a dream??   I guess the real point I am trying to make, is I can write a post without using the taboo word.

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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It Is So Difficult

Taboo Word  9/8/16

No one knows the trials I go through
Just to seem normal for another day
Normal is always so easy for you
For me it’s too far away

I struggle each day to get out of bed
To look like I’m really okay
But no one sees what is inside my head
It would cause you to run far away

Evil, put into my soul long ago
I tried to climb into a bottle
Everyone saw all that I know
Too late for my chance at the throttle

After some time I put the booze
Far away from my hand and my head
I knew I had nothing to lose
Keep it up I and would be dead

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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The Man Took Me

Taboo Word 9/7/16

I don’t remember how it began,
It was so very long ago
This was the one certain man
That would not let me go

I was so little at the start
And so my memory fails
The man who had no heart
Prevented my tiny wails

No one heard me cry at night
No one knew my fears
My heart beat fast with so much fright
My face so wet from tears

The man who never let me show
How loudly beat my heart
No one was to ever know
My words, they would not start

The man is gone, for all time
Never again, will cause me pain
The memories now forever mine
I will never be the same

~ van ~

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 taboo

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Being A Survivor

Taboo Word – Day 2

What is it that you can find, deep within the mind of a survivor? Being a survivor myself, I’d have to say that the answer is not that simple. Some things that remain, are often things that you don’t want to remember, ever. I believe that I have some of these myself.

I have been going to therapy for a good 30 years or more, and I am still working on getting past thoughts and patterns that affect my behavior on a daily basis. Some of the memories that I have recovered, have helped me to understand why I’m the way that I am.

These memories are ones that explain why I have the diagnoses that I have. Some of these memories explain the poor self-image, poor self-worth, or inappropriate emotional responses, causing poor reasoning, avoidance of people or places and exaggerated emotional responses.

They can also cause the impulsiveness that leads me to spending in excess, emotional outbursts, and relationships that are short, and often over emotional. My long-term relationships have lasted for five years each, and I’ve been through and used up three of them.

Now I live alone, and everything that I act on, is still based on exaggerated emotional responses to the stimuli around me. This has been my life for the past 16 years. I take part in outside activities, like Bible studies and wheelchair sporting events, but everything is done (hah!) in a way that protects me from experiencing those emotions that are almost always inappropriate to the situation.

So I spend most of my time alone in my apartment, with only my cat, all the things I take part in on the Internet, and Netflix and my big screen TV. One person that lives in this building, understands a lot of my interactions with others, and the thoughts behind my actions.

But now, my therapist wants me to start relying more on my peers, and less on professionals for support. This is very difficult for me to carry out, but I make it seem to her, that I am changing this behavior. This is not easy for me.  Not at all.

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.

 

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