It Is So Difficult

Taboo Word  9/8/16

No one knows the trials I go through
Just to seem normal for another day
Normal is always so easy for you
For me it’s too far away

I struggle each day to get out of bed
To look like I’m really okay
But no one sees what is inside my head
It would cause you to run far away

Evil, put into my soul long ago
I tried to climb into a bottle
Everyone saw all that I know
Too late for my chance at the throttle

After some time I put the booze
Far away from my hand and my head
I knew I had nothing to lose
Keep it up I and would be dead

You can see today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge, for details on participating.


Click the blue frog to read others taking part in this fun challenge 

A Letter To My Self

Today, I see the hair that’s grey,
Today, I see a brand new day,
Today, I see an aching soul,
Today, I see within that soul.
Yesterday, came and went so fast,
Yesterday, is not meant to last,
Yesterday, I did not speak my mind,
Yesterday, the words, I could not find.
Today, I see all these things in my head,
Today, I think of all that I’ve read,
Today, I see myself so small,
Today, I see, I don’t have to go.

Sitting In The Sun

Sitting in the sun,

Wondering if someone,

Will ever come my way

 With something nice to say.


For so long now,

I don’t know when,

Someone that I cared for,

We cared for each other.


But many things got in the way,

Mental illness gone astray,

Drove away the one I knew,

Felt that love for me too.


Now again, it’s been so long,

My head not quite where it belongs,

But most every day I yearn

That someday someone’s head will turn.


And see me sitting in the sun,

All my fears are on the run,

But I long for that special day,

When someone’s head will turn my way.

– van –


Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Started seeing someone new,
It is time to move on.
It’s been almost a year,
Since I’ve seen the one.

The one who greeted me,
Those days almost a year ago,
With a fresh cup of coffee,
How was I to know?

Can’t get too close to anyone,
Though it might feel quite good,
Cause one day they’ll be gone,
Like everyone else would.

And now it’s happening again,
It’s time to start anew,
With someone I’ve never seen before,
To be added to the precious few.

The ones I open my soul to,
They hear all my pains and my fears,
From living in a place,
For far too many years.

Hello, goodbye, and here I go,
Getting ready to do it again.
To give all my trust,
With the things that have been,

So harmful, they hurt my soul,
My self-esteem is gone,
From damages, emotional and physical,
From whom should have been the one

To keep me safe from harm,
To watch me as I grow,
To guide me when I need it,
How am I supposed to know?

Hello, goodbye, soon to be gone,
After such a short time,
To start again, the merry-go-round,
The secrets no longer just mine.

– van-