One Is The Loneliest Number

One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever see.
No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know.

These words from Three Dog Night’s “One Is The Loneliest Number” are coming from me today.

Home alone for twenty years,
That seems a very long time,
But there’s no one that holds me dear,
And tells me, “You are mine!”

Used to laugh and have some fun,
We often liked to play,
At many campgrounds, near and far,
I loved living this way.

I used to dream when I was young,
I’d run away and hide,
In woods that I would live among,
With animals at my side.

But I never dared to run away,
I knew not what to do,
So forever in my room,
I’d stay away from you.

Not allowed to go and play,
Somewhere else than home,
And also each and every day,
Not allowed to use the phone.

Now I don’t go out and play,
I stay here in my room,
And dream there will come the day,
I pray it will be soon.

The day that You will come for me,
And take me home with You,
And forever I will be,
At peace in all I do.

As Empty As A Long-Abandoned Church.

I feel like this should show up again . . .

Through The Clouds

Ever feel like no one sees you? Or maybe you feel there is nothing inside you to see? While young, I learned that the only way I could feel like someone, was to create a persona. I remember watching the credits roll on the TV, watching as the names scrolled up the screen. Searching for a good name that I could use to create a boyfriend. By myself, I was nothing. It was as though I didn’t exist. When creating people didn’t work, I turned to fighting, and destroying property. Eventually, I was busted for arson and I was only 13 years old. I became a big, bad person, smoking, sneaking drinks from the liquor cabinet. But none of this made me feel as though I was anybody. I excelled in school, in the music program, with plans to go to college for music. I excelled in music, but was…

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