Still Missing My Abuser

I Guess This Is Goodbye
I Guess This Is Goodbye (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One week from today,

It will have been a year,

Since I had to say goodbye

To someone not so dear.

And yet I miss her in my heart,

Where the pain lies in wait,

To have me think of her,

On this not so special date.

I remember the day, sitting here,

When I received the call,

She was no longer there,

Shouldn’t bother me at all.

But it does, inside,

Buried very deep,

Only to arise again,

Causing troubled sleep.

I was hurt,

I was ignored,

I was told I was no good,

Like no child ever should.

There was no place,

Where I could go,

Except deep inside myself,

A place she did not know.

So now I’m going to do it again,

Say goodbye once more,

And try to ease through the pain,

That cuts me to the core.

Goodbye Mom, I do miss you,

But why I’ll never know,

There’s nothing else that I can do,

But I’ll never let it show.

– van –