Deep Fear

Through The Clouds

Each memory that arises fills me full of disgust.
I don’t want to go there, but I know that I must.
If I don’t, he still has that power over me.
Something that I really hate to see.

Deep inside the fear is still there,
I hear noises, but I know not from where,
My dreams are feelings disguised as nightmares,
I have to keep pushing, I know someone cares.

When I feel that I can go no further,
How could he ever hurt her?
She was so very young,
Not knowing what she had done.

She is me, behind a mask,
Why is it there, I have to ask?
Why not get it all out in the open,
Where something, for me, can be done with.

My Father will always be there for me,
Even if I can’t actually see.
His Love for me will never fade,
Turning to…

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Up and down, I go again,

Worrying about all my sin.

Is it?  Isn’t it? Who really knows?

I will never let it show.

All the things I try to hide,

Way, way, deep, down inside.

Talk to this one,

Listen to that one,

Whom shall I believe?

A life of sin I’ll never leave.

– van –