Ever had a day when you’re all stuck up in your head?
Ever had one of those days you remember nothing you’ve read?
Ever had one of those days you had nothing to do?
Ever had one of those days you have tons to do?
Today I sat here in my chair,
I did not go anywhere,
I could not read a book,
I just couldn’t find the hook.
Today I had nothing to eat,
Because I wouldn’t get out of my seat.
I could not read all that email,
The numbers made me want to wail.
Ever had a day when you want to stay abed?
Ever had a day when all thoughts have fled,
Ever had a day when everything’s numb?
Ever had a day when you need someone?
I am having all those days…
Christmas came, but there were no presents, not even a phone call or two. I guess they were too busy to call me and wish me a merry Christmas. Tonight, my mind went racing back to a period of time in my life, when I had no one but a bottle of vodka.
Vodka became my companion, my friend, my family, my lover. I couldn’t exist without my vodka. I tried on more than one occasion to switch to beer, but then I just had more and more beers.
It took many years, to kick away that lover, and discover that I did have other people in my life, including my family. My family is reduced down to two siblings and their spouses, and approximately 13 cousins, second and third cousins.
Today, my father is gone, my mother is gone, and I am alone, with a sad little tree lit up in the corner of my living room.
I can hear what is really talking here . . . depression. It has come rushing back to be my constant companion now, and I am embracing it with open arms. Christmas is almost over, and the pain with decrease gradually, for the most part…