Why Do I Feel Like This?

by Karen Van Benschoten, posted in Abandonment, Mental Illness

Woke up, thought things were ok,
The phone rang, upset my day.
Today I was to meet with someone,
The call came, things came undone.

My heart screams in a silent shout,
I do not want the things to come out,
I must keep them deep inside,
But sometimes it’s very hard to hide.

To hide the pain of being left alone,
I almost wish I hadn’t picked up the phone,
But that would not make things ok,
Just cause me a disrupted day.

I know that I am not to blame,
But I feel this way, just the same,
Feel that it’s because of me,
She did not want to really see.

My fear of abandonment is running wild,
But I thought it was under control,
Now the feelings have to stay inside,
The next two days I’ll have them to hide.

4 thoughts on “Why Do I Feel Like This?”

  2. I have to say that one of the most stress-inducing things in my life these days is when the phone rings from any of my family members. It almost always beings negativity and pain. I freeze when the phone rings and my heart races. Your words hit my soul as I feel them and know them well. I feel for you and am sending all the love and support I have to you! HUGS!!

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