-
In need of fulfilled wishes. - I started school at age 4, due to my birthday being in October. This was a total change for me – to be away from my mother for such a long time.
I don’t know when my behavior took a turn, but I do know it was early on in school. I had teachers that were kind to me for the most part, and I wanted all of that I could get.
Starting long ago, longer than I can remember, my life was filled with chaos (abuse). I never knew which way to turn, there was no safe place, especially when I was younger.
I felt used and unloved, though at the time, I probably couldn’t put those words to what I was feeling. Mostly, I just knew that I was scared.
Unfortunately, this resulted in the beginnings of negative behavior – seeking more attention from the teachers. I didn’t know any other way to get more of that accepted feeling that I had when I started school and no one knew me. There were 30-some of us in that class, so the teacher’s attention was spread pretty thin.
When I wasn’t acting out, by starting fights, or throwing things, or shooting staples around the room, I was taking it out on myself in the form of self-harm. Both of these types of behaviors carried on through the years, right into high school. It was there when things took another turn.
I just came by to thank you for liking my guest post on Harsh Reality. I love how open and transparent you are here, keep up the good work
john
http://www.theviewfrommyrecliner.wordpress.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. When I started writing this blog, I didn’t really know what direction it was going to take.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Such a sweet face! Our little girl faces didn’t reveal our reality. I look forward to following your blog, Karen. Thank you so much for dropping by mine so I could find yours!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope that we can help each other out with our writings 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
If only someone would have reached out then… wonder what it would have changed?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wrote something about that exact same thing, on my new blog: outloudkaren.org
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will go read it right away 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So honest and raw…and I’m glad you are on your road to healing.
This is for you, Karen. Hope this would make your day. 😀
http://grubbsncritters.com/2016/04/liebster-award.html
(Sorry, hate to “spam” with links, but it’s in the rules)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing your story. It helps to know I’m not alone.
LikeLike
We definitely are not alone!
LikeLike
https://mychildwithin.wordpress.com/2016/08/26/run-rabbit-run-ptsd-award/
I have nominated you for this award! ❤
LikeLike
I am new to bloggingg and I really like your site. I can relate with this post wanting the attention. I was the same. It felt so good to have people actually care about me. It was such a warm feeling I wanted more and more. I found that in school never at home.
LikeLike
There is still a part of me that craves that. I had cravings taken care of this week. I got some attention due to the fact I participated in the disabled veterans Valor Games Midwest in Chicago, and won a God medal for throwing the discus, and a Silver medal for hand cycling. Yeah!
LikeLike
Way to go! Nice job! 😊
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
I saw you on Jason’s n (aopininatedman) I had a foster family that treated me
worse than the animals. Mostly emotional abuse. I’m adding you. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you. I am looking forward to reading your blog.
LikeLike